Why Mindset Matters More Than Willpower
If you've ever told yourself, “I know what to do—I just don’t do it,” you’re not alone. Changing habits around food, movement, sleep, and self-care isn't just about discipline or motivation. It's about mindset—and for many of us, the biggest block isn't knowledge, but trust. Specifically, the trust we’ve lost in ourselves, often after years of making promises we didn’t keep.
And when that trust begins to crack, it’s easy to think the problem is willpower—because that’s what we’ve been told. We’ve grown up in a culture that says if you can’t stick with something, you must not want it badly enough. But that’s rarely the real issue. More often, it’s a mindset problem—especially the stories we’ve absorbed about who we are and what we’re capable of.
For those of us who’ve tried to start over—again and again—the damage goes deeper than straying from an eating plan or missing a workout. Each time we say we’ll follow through and don’t, we erode something vital: self-trust. Over time, it becomes harder to believe in ourselves. Even when we are making progress, a lingering fear remains: Will I be able to keep this up?
Carol Dweck's work on the fixed vs. growth mindset shows that how we think about failure determines whether we spiral or grow. As she writes in her seminal book Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, a fixed mindset says: I messed up, so I’m not cut out for this. This can be compared to a growth mindset, which says: I slipped up, but I can learn and adjust.
One keeps us stuck in the past. The other opens the door to change, compassion, and resilience.
But that door doesn’t swing open all at once—it’s something we learn to walk through, over and over. Mindset isn’t just a belief system—it’s a practice.
I worked with a client who had spent years cycling through diets. Every time she ate something she considered “off track,” she told herself she’d blown it. Might as well eat whatever I want today and start over tomorrow, she’d think, as if one imperfect choice erased all the progress she’d made.
We talked about this pattern, and I asked her to try something different: when that all-or-nothing voice showed up, she could pause and ask herself, “What would I do right now if I believed I could still succeed today?”
It wasn’t easy at first, but something shifted. Instead of spiraling into guilt or shame, she started making her next food choice in alignment with her goals. Over time, that became her new pattern—not perfection, but recovery.
Healing isn’t linear. The old mindset says: “If I can’t do it all, I might as well give up.”
The new mindset says: “Every choice I make in support of my well-being is proof that I’m changing.” This is how to build sustainable habits—and more importantly, how to become the kind of person who trusts herself again.
If you’ve struggled with follow-through or feel like you’ve lost faith in your ability to change, you’re not alone—and you’re not broken. Mindset is where transformation begins. If you're ready to approach healing from the inside out, let's connect.